with Connie Haley
What comes to mind when you hear the word home? It could be your place of refuge, or the place you house your material possessions. Maybe it’s where your most beloved people live and your best memories are created. In addition to all of the above, what if your home was also a reflection of your inner life? Former monk and clinical psychologist, Thomas Moore, supports this idea. He believes that every material purchase we make, no matter how small, mirrors some part of our psyche. The color of your walls, how organized your closets are, even the shampoo you use, is a metaphor for the inner workings of your mind.
When I have clients that are discontented with their life, but can’t seem to pinpoint exactly what is wrong, I use a tool from my Martha Beck training called The Living Space exercise:
Describe your favorite space in the house. It doesn’t have to be an entire room. Maybe it’s just your closet, or your reading chair in the corner. Use lots of details and include how you feel about it, as well.
- Now describe your least favorite part of the house, using details and feelings.
- Reflect on how your least favorite space might feel like an area of your life. For example, a cluttered room might feel overwhelming and stressful. Is your daily schedule like that? Your finances? Maybe a relationship in your life?
- Brainstorm on one thing you could do to your least favorite space to make it feel more like your favorite space. For example, buying bins to contain the clutter would make it feel more relaxing and spacious like the living room that you love. Or, maybe a thorough de-clutter will do the trick.
- Now think about how you could apply the room solution to the above area of your life. In this example, your hectic, daily schedule. Maybe blocking out time in your schedule to do something you love every week would serve as “bins” to contain the chaos. Saying “no” to commitments that don’t light you up, or reducing what you try to accomplish in a day might be a “de-clutter” solution. Get creative here!
Even if you don’t buy into this concept, I challenge you to try it, just for fun. You might just gain some insight into an area of your life that needs your attention or, at least, get motivated to revamp that room in the house that you loathe!
Be You. No Apologies.
