This time of year is filled with anticipation as the end of school approaches and summer draws near. Most of us look forward to the relaxed pace of summer as a time to recharge for the next school year. For high school seniors and their parents, though, their anticipation is entirely different. Certainly, graduation brings excitement for the occasion and pride in the accomplishment. After years of hard work, these feelings are expected and should be relished. It is the unanticipated feelings of sadness about our children growing up and fear of them being on their own that can make this time challenging.

 

While students and parents are usually ready for the next phase, the reality of what “ready” means can leave some parents overwhelmed by the transition.

 

At Battle Ground Academy (BGA), we work with our seniors to ensure they are ready for life after high school. From learning the basics of budgeting and finance, to tips on health and self-care, we teach students those practical skills for life on their own. We also help our parents with their experience of the transition. Recently, we held an event for our seniors and their parents where they heard from local therapist Jim Schleicher about the process of letting go. Throughout the year, we have many individual conversations with parents and students addressing specific concerns about the future.

Here are a few recommendations I share with parents as they prepare for this next chapter:

Expect mixed emotions.

From sadness one moment as you recall those sweet grade-school years to complete frustration as your graduate continues to test your parenting limits, the roller-coaster of emotions will take you for a ride. Anticipate this ride, knowing that strong emotions accompany significant life events. This fluctuation also prepares you for your graduate’s departure.

Plan time with your graduate.

Whether it be a family vacation, hikes in the park, or dinner at a favorite restaurant, be intentional about it. Put it on the calendar. You do not want the summer to pass without enjoying quality time with your son or daughter. The time does not need to include lectures about life. Rather, focus your time on just being together. The spontaneity of conversation and your full presence will make your time together most meaningful.  

Impart basic life skills.

Make sure they know how to change their sheets and do their laundry. Discuss things like credit cards and car maintenance. Having a few basic recipes under their belt is helpful, too. Make a list and teach the practical skills you think might be missing from your graduate’s tool box.

Make plans for yourself next fall.

Whether you are facing an empty nest or just one less teenager at home, you have a new chapter to explore as well. Embrace it with a new hobby, a trip, or simply an optimistic outlook. Plus, your graduate will have one less thing to worry about just by knowing that you will be okay after they leave. 

Enjoy this time and have confidence in the path you have paved for your son or daughter. Rest easy, knowing that all these years of loving, guiding and supporting your child will pay off. And remember, this is your graduation, too!

 
Layne Pickett is a Tennessee Licensed Professional Counselor at Battle Ground Academy in Franklin. She received her bachelor’s degree and her master’s degree in counseling from Vanderbilt University. In addition to being BGA’s Upper School Counselor, Layne teaches a freshman life-preparedness class, oversees the Upper School Advisory Program, and sponsors the Peer Leadership Program. Layne is also a mother to two teenage sons.