Breast cancer is a formidable adversary, often leading individuals on a complex journey filled with physical and emotional challenges. For those grappling with this diagnosis, the battle extends beyond the disease itself, encompassing a profound struggle for self-acceptance, positivity and inner strength. In the voices of Lina Rowland, Katherine Van Grinsven and LindsayBridges, we gain valuable insights into the multifaceted nature of the breast cancer experience. Lina andKatherine both serve on the Tennessee Breast Cancer Coalition Board of Directors and Lindsay serves as the Director. These women, each with a unique story to tell, offer wisdom, courage, and resilience, serving as beacons of hope for those facing similar trials. Embark on a journey through their narratives, exploring the importance of self-love, the power of laughter, and the profound impact of support networks in navigating the challenges of breast cancer.
As breast cancer patients, it seems like we often fight two battles – the one our bodies continually fight against the disease, and the one we fight against ourselves as we try to remain positive and gracious for the people who constantly seek to lift our spirits. These feelings are like being on a roller coaster because we don’t want to be the victim but the survivor. So,it is crucial to arm yourself with information and advice that help you take positive action. One useful approach is embracing the survival stories of others who have traveled this path before you. Just one person’s healing journey will give you the belief that you can do hard things. Also, a cancer diagnosis provides a good reason to re-evaluate and reflect on your life. Some things that were important may no longer be as important as they were before. While battling cancer, try your best to maintain a normal lifestyle. The more normal your lifestyle is, the less chances you have of being focused on your illness and becoming overly stressed.
Although, when you do have unpleasant thoughts on repeat, look for things that make you laugh! Listening to comedians (like Nate Bargatze, BrianRegan, Leanne Morgan–just to name a few) can squeeze the worry out of your mind with humor. Faith is another way to keep the positivity and to be thankful for what the Lord has done. Listening to Lauren Daigle’s song “Rescue,” reminds you of the Lord’s promise of hope and comfort.
Katherine VanGrinsven
My name is Katherine Van Grinsven and I am living with Stage IV Breast cancer. I was diagnosed at the age of thirty-four as De Novo, which means it had spread by the time we found it. The initial days with the diagnosis were a whirlwind. I had no time to think about the impact on my self-esteem and feeling beautiful this life-changing event would have on me.
I underwent a rushed double mastectomy, followed by two revisions, and a prophylactic oophorectomy that induce dearly menopause. The toll various surgeries and treatments take on your body is extreme. Weight changes, skin changes, mood changes - the list goes on. I have had to find comfort in knowing that my body is doing its best.I have had to dedicate energy away from being angry with myself and my body for something beyond my control. I am learning to love it for keeping me alive for now. Living as a Thriver is a challenge on the mind every day. You must release any guilt about desiring to feel beautiful.
Although I have never been diagnosed with breast cancer, my time as an oncology social worker has left me with valuable wisdom collected from patients over the years.
I have countless recollections of sitting in a small consultation room with women who have lost their breasts to a bilateral mastectomy or have lost their hair and are struggling with fatigue due to chemotherapy. As women, we value our breasts aspart of our femininity. Women post-mastectomy have shared with me that they refuse to even look at themselves in the shower for months after surgery. Or after reconstruction, they feel their body is no longer theirs, but a “fake.” Women who have lost their hair desperately try to cover their baldness with the perfect wig or scarf to make them feel like themselves again.
How do we make these women feel beautiful when they have lost so much of themselves? Patients would tell me they felt vain because they were concerned about how they looked. They felt they should be happy to be alive, rather than worrying about the changes int heir body. It is not vanity to grieve a part of your body that has been lost or a part of your body that has changed. This is a normal human emotion, and you are allowed to sit in that space.
My guidance for any woman going through this is to find a professional counselor who can help you through this journey. Yes, your body has changed, but your beauty is in your soul. Ask others to help and invite in friends and family. Do not go through this alone.
And my advice to friends and family, after many years of collecting wisdom from patients along the way: do not revolve every conversation around cancer. These women are still friends, mothers, daughters, sisters, nieces, etc., and would like to know what is going on in your lives, too! Cancer is not their identity; it is a medical condition they are currently living with. Part of your beauty is the fact that you are YOU...not just a cancer diagnosis.
